Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
