I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?