Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.