The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom