i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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