You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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