this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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