It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
pray to the hookup gods
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize