she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
