Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
