I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
