ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
