I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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