He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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