I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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