For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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