I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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