420 ftw
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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