last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize