you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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