i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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