Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I am available for nakedness
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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