Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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