I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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