Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
