I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize