listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
