Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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