His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
