We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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