New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
