is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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