once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
