just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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