I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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