If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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