I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
