Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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