Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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