Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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