next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
