why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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