I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
