I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
