You smell like stripper and shame
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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