Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
