Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
