from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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