Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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