You really coming over, don't trick.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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