I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
