Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
