Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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