Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
