I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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