just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize