It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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