WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
