I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ๐๐#pensacolaproblems
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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