You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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