I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
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I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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