It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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