and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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