I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
